That's All Folks.

Where do I start with this one? Kids. I don't think I got the manual for either one of mine. They must have forgotten to give it to me with my discharge papers. I am not even talking about the "What to expect when they're 2" but I need "how to stop incessant whining about nothing" and "how to stop your tween from using the excuses "I forgot" and "I thought I did"". You know, those are the things that aren't explained to us. I feel like I can handle most things thrown at me as a mom but when Jocelyn breaks down into complete devastation about her fruit bar breaking in half or when Lexie acts like I told her to remove her extremities with a spork when I have just asked her to emptry the dishwasher, I feel like I might lose it.

Some of you know that my Jocelyn had her 3rd birthday yesterday. I can't believe how fast it is going! I usually spend the night before her birthday sobbing about how she is growing up too quickly. This year I did fine...until it was 11:25p.m., the time she was born and then I got sad. I just want to freeze time...riiiiiiiiiiiiight NOW! She is talking really well and can feed herself and get around by herself but she still needs her mama too...to me that's perfect combination....semi-independent but will still snuggle. I think it makes it harder to watch her grow up because I know she is my last, my baby.

Meanwhile, my Lexie is going on 13 this summer. I have gone from coolest mom on the block to the meanest almost overnight. Is this how this tween/teen thing works? One day your the best thing walking and the next they can't even stand to be in the same building with you? It can be very frustrating. Now hear me out because Lexie is wonderful...not just a tween. She is a straight A student, involved in violin, likes to play tennis, is a great big sister and has big dreams and goals for herself. I am so very proud of her...then she says "I AM! GOSH!" and then I wanna punch her (but I don't). The "tude", as we call it around here, changes like the wind, but I do look forward to seeing the successful woman I know she is going to be.
I always thought I would want 5 or 6 kids but now I see that is just NOT going to happen! It is a very different place for me to be...the not wanting anymore kids thing. I no longer get jealous when I see a pregnant lady, I don't get baby fever at the sight of a newborn and I don't go all gooey in the newborn clothing section at Target. It is sort of liberating actually. I wanted Jocelyn for almost 5 years before I held her in my arms. It was a very intense 5 years and now...eh...no thanks, I'm done. I don't have the patience I once had and I NEED my 8 hours of sleep a night. While not rushing the kids to grow up, I look forward to getting through a meal without having to pick up a dropped fork or spilled apple juice. I look forard to not having to battle someone to get a shower and do their chores.

All in all...my family is 4 and that is perfect for me.