A Sense of Belonging.

Part 2 of our California road trip will start in Arizona...Flagstaff to be exact. We always seemed to stay in Flagstaff in our trips to Arizona when I was growing up. We stayed at a Comfort Inn I believe...I enjoyed it there. I had a woodsy themed lobby with thick wooden tables and chairs and a deer head mounted over the stone fireplace...very nice. I had intended on using the fitness center but I took in a Kidney Walk via conference phone meeting at 5am local time. Gotta fit in the important stuff. I was anxious about getting on the road and seeing the Welcome to California sign. Here are some pics from this day.

                                                Some western Arizona scenery for you.

                                             A reason I have no plans on moving Arizona...

The sign I had been waiting for...The area you enter into California from Arizona is pretty desolate and if this is the first view of Cali you get you might just turn around and go home...the beautiful scenery and palm trees come later...

Our final destination...my aunt and uncle's backyard. When I first got there and went out back, I had to stand there for a minute and just soak it in. "I am here" I said to myself. It felt unreal.

Only a few people will understand the complete peace that comes over you when you feel that you are exactly where you should be. I felt a sense of belonging that I have not felt in a LONG time. My kids looked happy...and wasted no time getting in the pool I must say...and I felt complete, well, minus the fact that my hubby wasn't with us. If I could I would move there today...like right now...as I am typing this.

It has been very hard to be comfortable when Delaware has always felt temporary. Don't get me wrong, I would miss the friends that I have made and some have even become like family to me, my parents are here and my brother is in New Jersey...I would miss them like crazy, but I only have one life and I want to be where I want to be plain and simple. Now, back to the trip.

We got there on a Friday afternoon, we lazed around and went shopping and swimming on Saturday and we went down to Santa Monica on Sunday. I was meeting up with my friends from the old block. I was so excited to see my childhood friends and see my BFF's kids!! Here are some pics from the next few days of my trip.

                                             The girls wasting NO time getting in the pool!

                    Me wasting no time sitting poolside and soaking up some California sun.

                                            Pyramid Lake-between Bakersfield and LA.

                                             Self explanatory, I think! The pier.

The Pacific Ocean at Santa Monica Beach as seen from the Pacific Park Ferris Wheel on the Pier.

My old house, where I grew up. This house, the whole street in fact, looks MUCH smaller that I remember, but I guess I was much smaller then. The house looks so different now and I wouldn't want to move back, but I wish I could just walk through it and check things out.

                        Another beautiful morning in California. My aunt and uncle's backyard.

The girls at CALM...California Living Museum. It's a zoo essentially, but it only houses animals that are native to California. Foxes, mule deer, black bears, snakes, mountain lions, bald eagles, roadrunners and others...you get the idea.

This is the last picture of this post. This is another reason I want to live in California, the weather channel is so boring here! LOL. Should I mention now that we didn't see a drop of rain on our trip? While we were in California, Delaware had tornadoes, a hurricane and an earthquake!! That's right the east coast earthquake of 2011 happened while I was in California! Irony.

I hope you enjoyed this section of our trip...the next post will include Disneyland, Sequoia and the Giant Redwoods, and Las Vegas. I guess I am doing this trip in 4 posts.

From Here to Flagstaff.

It seems I have failed to keep this blog up to date. I am very sorry and I hope I can do better for you and for me. I am such a slacker.

Anyhoo...2 weeks ago I returned from an amazing adventure. My parents, myself and my girls drove across country from Delaware to California in a Ford Fusion. 5 people. Fusion. Cross Country. 5 people. Fusion. Cross Country. Just want to make sure you have the mental picture. It was pretty amazing though. I am sure you have already figured out that I was over the moon on going back home to California. I was too excited for words!

 I wanted to share with you our trip and I may have to do it in 2 or 3 blog posts. The first part of our trip was great...the feeling of the open road and being on vacation, there is nothing like it. Our 1st night we stayed in Richmond, IN (just across the border of OH). The girls were able to go swimming in the heated pool and I was able to get in a small workout in their not so well equipped gym. The 2nd night we drove from Richmond, IN to a place called Sapulpa, OK (just outside of Tulsa). This is the day that I saw the Lucas Oil Stadium where the Colts play and I drove over the Mississippi, I saw the St Louis Arch and met a Facebook friend I had never met before! Here are some pics from the first couple of days.

Here is a picture of an Indian Trading Post in Illinois...obviously modern. They had some amazing stuff in there though...mostly hand made. Jocelyn got herself a little drum and Lexie got a ring for her friend and one for her.

                                  My girls, Lexie and Jocelyn, in Illinois at the Trading Post.

Something they had set up at the trading post...all made from wood, I believe. All of them for sale...should have brought back those horses huh?

                                      The girls in the hotel room in Tulsa after a LONG drive!

Jocelyn and her new friend! She is the same age as Jocelyn, which is how I met her mother on Facebook! So neat how we ended up around the corner from her house!!

Jocelyn was doing better than I expected and only had 2 "moments" that lasted about 2 minutes each where she was either overly hyper or crying. Not bad for a kid who just turned 3. Lexie was all plugged in, whether it was her iPod, iPad or the DVD player she was having a good time. My dad and I took turns driving although, even though I am in my 30's, I don't think he was completely comfortable in the passenger seat, but enjoyed the break and being able to enjoy the scenery and really take it in.

The following day was our longest. 970 miles to be exact. The plan was to drive from Sapulpa, OK to Gallup, NM...however we drove to Flagstaff, AZ. THAT is A LOT of driving!! But this too was a good day. We saw Oklahoma, City, we ate at an awesome "little" place in Amarillo, TX and drove clear through New Mexico, one of the prettiest states in the country. This day also meant we would be in California the next day!!

                                                Jocelyn being happy to be on the road again.

                         Lexie and Jocelyn in Oklahoma...did you know that the state animal is a...

                                                                        A Buffalo!!

                                               Lexie and Jocelyn in Texas...it was HOT!!

                                  The reason I have NO plans to move to Texas...in a rest area.

The "little" place in Amarillo, TX I was talking about. As seen on Travel Channel and Food Network...if you eat a 72oz steak with sides you get it free!! I had a buffalo burger...and I couldn't finish that.

                              Some New Mexico scenery...the pictures do it NO justice at all!!

This wraps up our first 3 days of our trip. I hope you enjoyed it. I wish I could have taken you all with me but we were pretty full already. 5 people. Fusion. Cross Country.

Easiest Thing I Have Ever Done for Myself.

Here is an update post on my weight loss. I am down 17lbs! Well, unofficially..I usually weigh in on Wednesdays...I could be down 18lbs by then. This has been a very difficult journey...actually, no it hasn't. Let me explain...

I have dieted before, a few times actually. I have lost 2lbs, 1lb, 5lbs, but I always end up packing on twice what I lost. This diet started off differently...I faced myself in a mirror in a summer dress. I looked myself up and down and was actually quite disgusted in myself for allowing myself to think that it was OK for me to be this unhealthy! My life had become a lot of sitting watching TV and shoving Little Debbie snacks down my face...not that there is anything wrong with Little Debbie in moderation but when you eat a whole box in 1 day, I think that is called A PROBLEM. Damn you Swiss Cake Rolls (Waving fist in the air)!!

Not only was I overweight but I was so out of shape. Walking up a flight of stairs, I would get winded...I chalked it up to my asthma (the scapegoat of my non-exercising ways). Now I can take two steps at a time and not even think about it. I feel so much better and other people are finally starting to notice. That is what I was waiting for at the beginning of all this but now I am too proud of myself to worry about what others think anyway. Not that I don't LOVE the compliments, because I do. I can also keep up with the kids in the house better and dance around the living room longer with my girls. This is what it's all about, right?

I still have 13lbs to lose before I hit my goal weight, but I am hoping to lose another 18lbs. Dieting has only a little to do with what you eat or how much you exercise, it is mostly about determination and motivation. You already know what you are and aren't supposed to eat and you know you are supposed to get at LEAST 30 minutes of exercise a day...do it. The funniest part about the motivation is it starts as a little seed...my seed was seeing myself in that dress...and it grows as you see the results. As I hit 10lbs, I was more motivated than I was at the beginning, at 15lbs I was more motivated than at 10lbs...I expect the motivation will continue as the pounds disappear.

I am ready for the next leg of my weight loss journey...hitting my goal and my ultimate goal and hopefully maintain the weight loss. Wish me luck! 

Cash Adventure 2011 is over!

July 18th-July 25th went by much faster than July 10th-July 17th, that's for sure. We all had a fantastic time! Good family bonding and great memories were made! It is funny how expensive memories have become!

Niagara Falls
I must say that Niagara Falls is well worth the trip even if you have already seen it! I had been there twice before but you forget how breathtaking it really is! Absolutely amazing! The rushing river seems to fall right off the edge of the earth and the mist it creates usually forms a rainbow. We didn't make it over to the Canadian side but the American side is beautiful. The view from the Canadian side is just as breathtaking so if all your papers are up to date I suggest the extra few minutes to see it.

The town of Niagara Falls leaves a lot to be desired. Most of the area is under redevelopment and a lot of the houses and businesses are boarded up and it looks quite depressing. You would think that because it is a major tourist attraction that most of this area would have been tended to. Nevertheless, you tend to overlook this minor eyesore because of the natural wonder that is a mere 500ft away.

Buffalo
Bills Stadium, Anchor Bar (home of the Original Buffalo Wing)...that's all I have to say about that.

Syracuse
Jamaine is a huge Syracuse fan so we had to fit this into our schedule. It was a beautiful city. The architecture, the houses, the university:beautiful. The view from the football stadium into Syracuse was great and worth the stop. They allowed us to go into the Carrier Dome (where they play basketball and football) BUT apparently we over-stepped our bounds by going onto the field and we were promptly kicked back into the stands. Ahhh well...we had already taken our pictures! :-) Syracuse also has a beautiful park that has a memorial for the Underground Railroad called "Jerry's Rescue". I could definitely see myself living there...EXCEPT...they get WAY too much snow for me. As I have stated before I hate winter!

Cooperstown
The baseball capital of the country. What we didn't know when we booked our motel here was that it was inauguration weekend for the Baseball Hall of Fame. What we found out once we got there is all sorts of Hall of Famers and MLB players were going to be in town that day! We actually met Goose Gossage and...wait for it......Yogi Berra! Epic!! It was amazing! Jocelyn shook hands with a living legend! Oh, we also saw Pete Rose.

We are a family who knows how to eat...and boy, did we! We stopped at the cutest diner called...ironically enough, Cooperstown Diner. If you ever make it to Cooperstown, EAT THERE! We ordered a jumbo cheeseburger being naive out-of-towners and when we got it the burger patty was 2 inches thick!! I took a huge bite out of mine and it was DELICIOUS and cooked perfectly. I was unable to finish mine but Jamaine manned up and ate the entire thing. We actually went there twice. (Don't judge me)

Cooperstown itself is a quaint little town with a quaint little Main St. complete with a bakery, a diner(the formerly mentioned Cooperstown Diner) and a General Store. It is also situated on gorgeous Lake Otsego. It is where the Susquehanna River begins. We were skipping rocks and watching a mother duck and her babies and watching the sailboats blow whichever way they wanted. It didn't hurt that the weather was perfect either.

The only downside to the Cooperstown stop was the motel...when we returned from the glorious day we had just spent I realized the motel was infested with spiders. I couldn't face staying there and Jamaine checked us out and we found a new hotel. Jamaine was sort of fed up with me at having to leave our cute little motel, but I just can't handle spiders. There could have been snakes and mice all over the place but spiders...no.

I would definitely recommend going to Cooperstown and I am sure we will go back.

Boston
We spent most of our vacation in Boston. We were able to see much of the city and most of the historical sites. There is a trail called the Freedom Trail marked with red paint and bricks all throughout the city. The Freedom Trail, should you choose to follow it, takes you on a walking tour of the city's most notable historical places such as, the South Meeting House where they decided to make a stand against the English and dump tea in the river...waste of perfectly good tea I say..., also the Paul Revere House which was pretty neat to actually see and the USS Constitution. Boston is a great place for history. I am pretty sure I almost bored Lexie to death but she got over it. So. Much. Walking.

There is a wonderful ice cream shop called Emack and Bolio's not far from the USS Constitution...also definitely worth a look. Our trip to Boston would not have been complete without dinner at Cheers. Let me warn you ahead of time that it looks nothing like the set on the show but you can definitely see the inspiration for most of it. The food wasn't great but it doesn't have to be does it? That's not why you go there, is it?

The part of Boston that Lexie liked best was just outside of Boston in Salem. Of course we did all the witch stuff...The Salem Witch Museum (not what I expected...but ok if you don't know much about the witch trials) We also went to the Witch Village and learned where the stereotypes of witches come from...you know, the warts, the broom and the green face? That image was cooked up by the government of the time. These apothecary women were making medicines that the government were also selling at a higher price. The gov't didn't want the citizens buying their meds from these women and wanted them to buy their drugs so they concocted the story about the evil, ugly women making potions and casting spells. Seemed to work.

The House of Seven Gables is in Salem. A beautiful house right on the Salem Harbor and has beautiful gardens that Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote about in his book of the same name. He is also rumored to have wrote The Scarlet Letter in that house.

Overall, the vacation was great. We only had rain and traffic on the way home trying to get through New York City (of course). I would have liked to spend more time in Niagara and maybe another day in Cooperstown. I think an entire week would be good in Boston to actually go into and enjoy all the buildings on the Freedom Trail...we were only able to go in a few of them. I suggest this trip or a similar version to anyone in the Northeast. You really cover a lot of ground without feeling overwhelmed.

Oh, Jocelyn...what's next?

We had an appointment with the Urologist today...needless to say, it did not go as I would have hoped. Do you need back story? Read on...if not, skim and keep going to the latter paragraphs.

Jocelyn was diagnosed with Renal Reflux at 2 months old. Her bladder was forcing urine to go backwards up into the kidneys She got a really bad infection that actually damaged her right kidney. She was diagnosed with Non Neurogenic Neurogenic Bladder at 9 months. Her bladder looks the same as someone who might have Spina Bifida or other Neurogenic problems but she doesn't have those things. Her bladder does not empty completely which means that we have to catheterize her every 4 hours...fun, fun, fun.

Both of these conditions leave a high likelihood that she will get a urinary tract infection. And she has had several. She has had dozens of tests and procedures over her 3 years and even a surgery last year to resolve the Renal Reflux. Her reflux has been resolved, but the infections continue to come, mostly due to the cathing.

Now to todays appointment. She had her kidney ultrasound today and she did VERY well and only fussed at the beginning and then started saying "cheese" when the tech took the pictures of her belly. Once we got the urologists office she told us that her kidneys looked the same as they did last time...we sort of expected that though. I cathed her at the office and gave them the sample. They can do a dip that comes back instantly for white blood cells that show sign of infection and then they culture it to see what bacteria is growing. So they dipped and it came back positive for infection...we are now waiting on the culture and we are starting antibiotics tonight. She had been infection free since October 2010. Streak broken.

The urologist also mentioned that she wanted all of us (including  to consult with a neurosurgeon about a procedure that cuts a cord in the spine that connects the spinal chord to the base of the spine. Sounds super scary but apparently it is a very common surgery performed by neurosurgeon and something done frequently in children like Jocelyn. With that being said, I am scared. I thought our days of surgery were behind us. I don't want them to remove one of her vertebrae and put it back. I am so nervous and it's not even scheduled yet and it won't be set in stone for 6 more months, but she is my baby, no one wants to see their baby go through any type of surgery. It is likely going to help her bladder dysfunction and I am open to getting her as close to "normal" as possible, but I have a LOT of research to do about this surgery before I talk to anyone!

I am ready for Jocelyn's medical journey to be over. I hope that IF she has this surgery she will be fixed and her bladder will function correctly. A lot of questions need to be answered...now how do I find the answers I need before I go back to the Dr?? Another question...

That's All Folks.

Where do I start with this one? Kids. I don't think I got the manual for either one of mine. They must have forgotten to give it to me with my discharge papers. I am not even talking about the "What to expect when they're 2" but I need "how to stop incessant whining about nothing" and "how to stop your tween from using the excuses "I forgot" and "I thought I did"". You know, those are the things that aren't explained to us. I feel like I can handle most things thrown at me as a mom but when Jocelyn breaks down into complete devastation about her fruit bar breaking in half or when Lexie acts like I told her to remove her extremities with a spork when I have just asked her to emptry the dishwasher, I feel like I might lose it.

Some of you know that my Jocelyn had her 3rd birthday yesterday. I can't believe how fast it is going! I usually spend the night before her birthday sobbing about how she is growing up too quickly. This year I did fine...until it was 11:25p.m., the time she was born and then I got sad. I just want to freeze time...riiiiiiiiiiiiight NOW! She is talking really well and can feed herself and get around by herself but she still needs her mama too...to me that's perfect combination....semi-independent but will still snuggle. I think it makes it harder to watch her grow up because I know she is my last, my baby.

Meanwhile, my Lexie is going on 13 this summer. I have gone from coolest mom on the block to the meanest almost overnight. Is this how this tween/teen thing works? One day your the best thing walking and the next they can't even stand to be in the same building with you? It can be very frustrating. Now hear me out because Lexie is wonderful...not just a tween. She is a straight A student, involved in violin, likes to play tennis, is a great big sister and has big dreams and goals for herself. I am so very proud of her...then she says "I AM! GOSH!" and then I wanna punch her (but I don't). The "tude", as we call it around here, changes like the wind, but I do look forward to seeing the successful woman I know she is going to be.
I always thought I would want 5 or 6 kids but now I see that is just NOT going to happen! It is a very different place for me to be...the not wanting anymore kids thing. I no longer get jealous when I see a pregnant lady, I don't get baby fever at the sight of a newborn and I don't go all gooey in the newborn clothing section at Target. It is sort of liberating actually. I wanted Jocelyn for almost 5 years before I held her in my arms. It was a very intense 5 years and now...eh...no thanks, I'm done. I don't have the patience I once had and I NEED my 8 hours of sleep a night. While not rushing the kids to grow up, I look forward to getting through a meal without having to pick up a dropped fork or spilled apple juice. I look forard to not having to battle someone to get a shower and do their chores.

All in all...my family is 4 and that is perfect for me.  

It's been a while...

My efforts to make more frequent blog entries have been thwarted by computer issues, sick children, and general projects around the house. An update is due.

Jocelyn was developing rashes over the weekend. They were pretty bad actually. We ended up at the ER on Friday night. If there are other parents reading this they have already been through this, but this was one of those times that you hoped the rash (or other problem) would last until you got to the doctor. Now, don't get me wrong, you also want it to go away so you know the child is better, but you want the doctor to see 2 things...number 1-The rash (or other issue), so that it can be diagnosed and number 2-That you aren't that crazy paranoid mother who rushes the kid to the doctor every 5 minutes! Luckily, the rash was still there and actually appeared in other spots almost in front of their eyes. It turned out to be viral and they told us what we thought they would...give her Benadryl and keep your eye on her. Ahh well, sometimes you just need other people to tell you they are ok.


As far as my diet, after 3 weeks of dieting and excercising, I have lost 9 lbs! I admit I was expecting more results by now but I will take it! I know my excercise is not at it's max level yet but I am doing what I can. Especially with my asthma being as bad as it is. Side note:Asthma sucks...real bad. I have been enjoying being more active in general. I like walking around the zoo or to the park or even parking further away in the parking lot...I don't see it as such a burden or obstacle I see it as an added bonus to the day. Somedays I really DON'T want to go to the gym but once I get there I am fine...well until I get to the stupid bike...man, I hate that thing! The part I am most proud of myself for has been my abilty to resist food temptation, but that Baked Mac & Cheese looked SO good!'

I am also less than 2 weeks away from vacation!(Which I would like to be down another 5 lbs for) In case you didn't know, I am super excited. Although there have been some unfortunate changes to the schedule, I am so pumped to just GET AWAY! I don't want to rush it here because I know that the sooner it gets here the sooner it's over. I am in no rush to get back to my normal, boring apartment or my normal, boring car. I am NOT one of those people who say "It's nice to go on vacation but it's nicer to come home". As long as I have my family with me I would keep moving. I am a rolling stone!! Lol.

I guess I will sign off here because the other topic on my mind (the children) is enough for its own post.

Have a beautiful day readers!